Underground ReLOVEution

I just wrote out a really long letter, getting down some of the thoughts and confusion that has been crashing around inside of my head (picture a clothes drier with a few wrenches thrown in.) I noticed something. I put a lot of consideration into making sure that I don't limit what God can do with my life. I don't want to shut doors that God wants to leave open, and so a lot of time is spent second guessing and triple guessing decisions; making sure they aren't getting in the way of God's plans for using me.

Which is great!

But if I were to compare the time I spend actively seeking God and being with him, to the time I worry about the future; well, it wouldn't be a pretty picture.

I need to make movements toward a life rooted more deeply in God, instead of what God has planned for me to accomplish.

Jon told me about this last night...I've watched it about 15 times now and I still can't stop watching it and wanting to yell with him at the end. Watch it watch it watch it!

Love you guys :)

That Destiny's Child reference might be lost on some of you...but that is a risk I'm willing to take.

Independence is part of the American ideal. Never mind, it is THE American ideal these days. We need to be financially successful at a young age so we don't need to depend on anybody else. I have been told a few times that I should live with at least a few different men before I get married...that way, I will be prepared if my husband ever leaves me. I should focus on school and work, and make sure I don't get too wrapped up in my friends. A responsible person makes sure they are a great friend, but doesn't really need friends; they draw their strength from within themselves.

But here's the thing: It's all a big joke. None of it's true. Hallelujah.

We need each other! The other day I tried pretending that I didn't really need my friends, and let's just say they saw right through me. When you are a part of the body of Christ, it's like you're part of this amazing revolution. My friends aren't people I just hang out with. These are my coworkers; this is my family! I am convinced that there is no human relationship more rewarding than working with another to further the kingdom of God. Sometimes when I am spending time with you kids, I can't help rejoicing for what is around the bend...and you have no idea! You are friends now, and you tell each other your secrets and you have fun, but just wait. You will go through thick and thin together, and you will go from being friends to being coworkers (which may sound like a downgrade, but I promise you it isn't.) When you are working together for Jesus, you'll confess to one another, you'll help each other through horrible times, you'll help others together, you will sweat, you will cry, you will feel like you want to give up, but they won't let you.

So, back to my point about dependence. We are so wholly and completely dependant on God. of course he wants us to be interconnected; to truly love each other. God has never intended that we would live our lives in isolation. In fact, we are the body of Christ, and I don't recall ever looking at a severed hand and saying, "wow, now that is a useful hand. Look at everything it can do." No, I think my reaction would be to try to look around for whoever had lost their hand and help them get to the hospital...

So maybe, if you look around and realize that you aren't in community with the body of Christ, you should go to the hospital. Pray and ask God to lead you in the direction of Godly people who you should pursue a relationship with.

You can follow the Thailand Missions Team as we leave Tuesday the 24th through April 5th on the Underground Missions blog. Here is the link: http://umissions.blogspot.com

You know what one of the best parts of my day is? Receiving a text from you.

You guys text us youth leaders like crazy and we LOVE it. Okay, sometimes we are confused by your newfangled hipster slang words and sometimes we're less than excited by the 3 a.m. "Hey, how's it going?" text...but in general we are stoked to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly as it happens in your life.

I am writing this post to challenge you to take the next step. Inviting us into your lives is fantastic. The fact that you trust us enough to share your secrets and agony and annoyances - amazing. Now I want to encourage you to invite God in as well.

I have told one student in particular at least once a day that she needs to bring her Bible to school with her. I'm sure she's sick of hearing it. But here's the thing: God's word is life and power and encouragement and joy and a reminder of what we're all about. So help it help you.

You don't necessarily need to lug the entire freaking book around - it does get heavy - but have some form of His word on you at all times. Let God get the final say in your day-to-day stresses and agony. Copy a Psalm into your notebook. Write a verse on your wrist. Text one to yourself in the morning before you go to school so you can read it later in the day. Text your friend the same verse to share the love. Email a passage to yourself. Get online during lunch if the drama gets out of hand and read the Bible online at www.niv.org.

I'm encouraging you to get serious about this commitment you made to God - and the one He's made to you. Don't waste his word.

Love you guys.

Clarissa is leading a team to Parras Mexico in June and early July of this year. Information coming soon on where to pick up information and when the application window is. We are all very excited to be able to have a team visit Vida Nueva again this year.

For my conscience is held captive by the Word of God and to act against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, God help me. --Martin Luther

Yesterday I had to repent. I asked God to forgive me for four disobedient years spent at the University of Washington.

For six weeks after I graduated from high school I bummed around at the YWAM base in Culiacan, Mexico. I wasn't very productive there. In fact, I was often more of a hindrance than a help. But God had big plans for me this trip that had nothing to do with building houses or becoming fluent in Spanish. Instead, he ignited within me an excitement and passion for ministry and missions and living a life based on faith alone.

In Mexico I began dreaming grand dreams of raising financial support in order to work full-time with YOU, the youth group, and forsaking my spot at the University of Washington, where I had reluctantly registered for fall quarter. College seemed like death to me, and ministry like life.

My parents weren't stoked about my awesome ministry plan. When I returned from Mexico they repeated the same concerns that had caused me to apply and register at UW in the first place - they worried that if I didn't go to school right away, I never would, they were afraid I wouldn't be able to provide for myself in the "real world," and my mom in particular expressed her fears about me unexpectedly being left alone to fend for myself if my (future) husband were to somehow fall out of the picture.

Their arguments seemed just rational enough to convince me. At the time, however, I didn't realize that they were so deeply rooted in fear and a lack of faith in God.

I trusted their opinions a bit, but could not completely ignore God's calling elsewhere. As a result I ended up spending four years at the university. I made a few friends, learned some, grew some, worshiped some, traveled some...and was kicking and screaming the entire time because I knew deep in my heart that God had called me to something dramatically different.

I thought during this time that I had chosen the "safe" path. And God knows, as my parents completed a divorce during my college years that turned my world upside-down, my heart craved safety and security.

This is why Martin Luther's words (above) cut deep into my heart as I read them today..."to act against conscience is neither right nor safe." For me to have denied the Holy Spirit's urgent prompting for four years had perhaps placed me in a more secure financial life situation, but left me on rocky ground with my powerful, almighty God. It is not safe to deny him...

Not only that, but I'm sad to think about what I might have happened if I had chosen to trust God a little bit more than the opinions of people around me. And I'm not just talking about parents. Seniors in high school know that everyone likes to offer their opinion about your future. It's inevitable. But the fact that I exalted fear above faith meant that I missed out on seeing where God may have wished to lead me during that time of my life. I'm glad for the advice and wisdom of people who are older than me...as long as they don't contradict God's personal words to me.

I'm not going to wallow forever in the past and regret my decisions...however, the evaluation of my past leads me to consider my present and future life: "Am I trusting God now the way I wish I would have back then?"

God is the one we are ultimately accountable to. We gave our lives over to Him when we accepted Jesus.

Before I close, let me be clear about two things. First, I don't believe that the university itself was evil. Considering my parents' thoughts and wanting to honor them wasn't sinful. Desiring to be wise financially and vocationally isn't wicked. It was simply the un-faith-filled motivation that made this a poor choice for me. I made fear a god instead of fearing God. I trusted others for my future instead of relying on the One who actually ordained each of my days.

Second, I do not believe that God has written me off simply because I disobeyed him at a certain fork in the road. That would not be the God of the Bible. The book of Jonah gives me a lot of relief. God pursues, and pursues, and pursues....and pursues. He redeems all things and does not cast us off forever.

I know now that fear of man is never a good motivation for anything as we attempt to pursue a life of faith. What we fear we tend to obey. Be cautious and wise and humble as you talk to others about your future. And talk to God about it more than you discuss it with them.

The path you walk as you follow your conscience (the urgings of the Holy Spirit) make the least sense to those around you, may involve physical danger, may require you to sacrifice the very things that give you your sense of comfort and security and well-being, and yet will undoubtedly be the only safe road to tread. This is the path of fear and trembling before an almighty, loving God.

On April 15th Hillsong United is going to be playing down in Seattle. The tickets are $10 and can be found here. If anyone interested in heading down together, let me know. Should be an awesome night.